• The parable of the prickly porcupine and how it reflects the way families are living right now! (4:10)

• The practice of rainbow breathing, which is fun and stress-relieving for adults and kids alike! (7:08)

• How to introduce mindfulness practice to kids (without the eyerolls) (8:45)

• What to do when kids are acting out (11:00)

• How to (and not to) help kids name their emotions — and what happens when we do (12:47)

• When not to use practices and what to do instead (13:08)

• How mindfulness helps support impulse control (16:14)

• The story of the 9 year old with the puzzled look (16:49)

• The upstairs brain + the downstairs brain (20:41)

• The inner bully vs. the superhero (22:46)

• The power of a simple question (26:13)

• How to know when a mindfulness practice needs to be adapted to be safe for kids who are or have been in a traumatic situation (27:05)

• The zombie walk (28:40)

Michelle [00:00:00]

Hi everyone I’m Michelle Becker. Welcome to the well-connected relationships podcast. This podcast is episode number six and today we’ll be talking with Lorraine Hobbs about how parents can teach resilience skills to their children. Lorraine is part of the UC San Diego Center for Mindfulness where she has created a division of mindfulness and compassion cultivation for kids and families as the Youth and Family Programs Director. She’s co developer of a program called Making Friends with Yourself a mindful self compassion program for teens and founder of A Friend in Me, a program for emotional strength training and resilience for kids. She’s also co-developer of Mindful Compassion. She’s also co-developer of the Mindful Compassionate Parenting program. Well, we’re really lucky to have you with us today. Lorraine welcome!

Lorraine [00:00:50]

Michelle thank you so much. I’m very excited and pleased to be here.

Michelle [00:00:56]

Well we’re delighted to have you. So I’m really excited about this topic. Last episode we talked with Dr. Susan Pollak about how parents can practice self compassion. And today I’d like to talk a little bit more about how kids can practice. I mean just start that over again. Edit that out. So really happy to have you here with us. Last episode we talked more about how parents can practice self compassion. So today’s episode is really perfect looking at how we can… No, I’m try again happy to have you right back to the right day. Okay. Okay. Really happy to have you here. These are really difficult time times for parents as we explored in our last episode with Dr. Susan Pollack. They’re also a really difficult time for teens. I’m sorry let me try that again. 

These are really difficult times for parents. As we explored in our last episode with Dr. Susan Pollack. They’re also really difficult times for kids and teens. Life as they know it has changed too. Life as they know it has changed too. Have you seen an increase in stress in the kids and families you work with?

Lorraine [00:02:14]

Well actually Michelle, that is more true than you realize. As the director of using that sorry. Actually Michelle, that’s such a good question. And just to let you know that that’s more true than people realize. As Director of Youth and Family Programs at UCSD Center for Mindfulness, we are getting inquiries um, probably at the rate of maybe three to four to five a week from parents asking what resources we have available for their kids and for families in general, because I think there is so much great information coming into the general community globally, and parents are beginning to ask well if, it’s good for me why isn’t there something, or is there something available for my child? 

So we have been offering programs for teens and kids and parents in general for quite a while and now we’re starting to adapt them for online programming because we know that mindfulness training, self compassion training, empathy skills are just as valuable for kids as they are for adults.

Michelle [00:03:30]

Yeah. What are some ways you’re finding that they’re valuable how does I know you specialize in teaching mindfulness and compassion? How does teaching that to our kids and to parents how does that support families? What what benefits do you see?

Lorraine [00:03:48]

Well I think in general mindfulness has the capacity to help children increase their focus increase their attention, self-control. It helps children with behavioral challenges participate better in the classroom. And I think in general, Mindfulness really helps build skills in compassion — empathy, compassion and kindness. We also know that that increased focus of course is going to help academic performance. It’s going to help chill children build the skills to resolve conflict. And it’s just going to improve their overall well-being. I think we also see a decrease in levels of stress depression anxiety and again the disruptive behavior that just is a sorry. 

As well we see a decrease in levels of stress, depression, anxiety and disruptive behavior which can be a direct result of the anxiety and fear and stress that kids experience. 

You know, if you consider that families are have for how many months now six seven months been required to curtail their their social activity and are at home and many kids going back to school this fall are still doing so online. All of the changes that we’ve been going through as as a community as a global community is impacting the way families are living together right now. And there’s a wonderful parable called the oh hold on let me think What’s the name for that.

Michelle [00:05:38]

The two wolves.

Lorraine [00:05:40]

No no it’s the it’s called the pit. So there’s a wonderful parable that kind of where we started over. There is a really wonderful parable that kind of correlates with what families are actually going through right now. It’s called the parable of the prickly Porcupine and the the oh god what am I trying to say. The.

Michelle [00:06:11]

Well let’s go.

Lorraine [00:06:12]

Wait wait let me just say this. So the intention or the. No I’m sorry the story behind the parable. Sorry. 

The focus of the parable is to help people understand that when you’re in close quarters when there are conditions that you’re living with that can kind of push you toward each other without some breathing space, without some opportunity to be away from one another for periods of time and then come back together and enjoy, instead were you know like these prickly porcupines that are poking each other constantly. And while we need each other and it’s so important for parents to, to be there for their children, parents are under so much stress. They’re worried financially. They’re worried about you know, the education their children are getting, they’re worried, about worried about this, this virulent disease that is a direct threat to all of our health and children are picking up on that. You know there’s this thing called empathic resonance, and children are experiencing what their peer parents experience in terms of levels of stress. 

So these practices that we teach parents and children enable them to be together really more peacefully, with greater ease.

Michelle [00:07:42]

That’s wonderful. I think all families could use more of that. Could you give us some examples of how parents can actually support themselves and their children during these challenging times.

Lorraine [00:07:59]

Well I bet you something they can do. You want to see that again. Michelle I’m sorry I cut you off.

Michelle [00:08:04]

It’s OK. What are some things they can do?

Lorraine [00:08:07]

Well first of all it was one of the things I’d like to mention is that when parents are under a great deal of stress there’s a greater likelihood that they’re going to get triggered. They’re going to get activated in the part of the brain that is responsible for their threat defense their their stress level. Now let me say that again. First of all I’d like to just explain that during these very very stressful and uncertain times parents are more likely to have their stress level activated maybe more easily or more quickly by the conditions around them. Children. I’m sorry Michelle I’m just.

Michelle [00:08:52]

No, No, you’re you’re you’re fine. Don’t. Don’t worry so much about the theory because we’re talking we’re just talking you’re just talking to parents basically you’re talking to me. But it’s like you’re talking to parents. OK. So don’t worry so much about the theory. Let’s move it. Let’s give him a practice. Give him one simple thing they can do they’ll fall in love with you.

Lorraine [00:09:08]

Ok. Hold on one thing. All well I don’t know what practice I want to do. Let me think about that.

Michelle [00:09:14]

Well why don’t you talk about like the rainbow practice? Yeah I love that rainbow breathing.

Lorraine [00:09:19]

Ok so thank you for asking about a practice that parents can do with your children Michelle and I’m happy to teach the parents right now a little bit a practice called Rainbow breathing that children enjoy and parents also enjoy. Before I go into that though I just want to mention the importance of parents building a practice of their own. Not only does it enable them to stay self-regulating. It also enables them to not go into so much reactivity with their children when their children are flipping their lid and having a difficult time. It also enables them to see their child as Dan Siegel says, “see the mind behind the behavior”. So I’ve had many parents explain how beneficial that’s been to themselves as parents to be able to look at their child when their child is struggling not get caught up in the fray but simply pay attention to what their child is experiencing, and as a result, respond more effectively and with with more compassion to their child. 

So let’s go ahead and try this this practice called Rainbow breathing.

Michelle [00:10:35]

Great love to. How did we do. How do we start?

Lorraine [00:10:38]

Ok. So rainbow breathing just simply asks that we take our fingers and spread them apart and with our imagination, we paint each finger a different color. So using the colors of the rainbow you might start with your pinky and and paint it red and then blue and then yellow and green and purple. And you can use different colors on each hand or you can use the same colors on each hand, and then, with your arms down by your side, palms facing out, you’re going to breathe in and bring your arms up out to the sides and up over your head, and as you’re doing so imagining that you’re painting the whole sky the colors of the rainbow, inhaling and painting the sky. And then you turn your palms out as they’re over your head and as you exhale, you bring those colors back down through the sky and into the earth, and then bring your hands onto your chest, onto the heart and bring those beautiful rainbow colors into your own heart. And then you repeat that at your own pace a few times.

Michelle [00:12:04]

Wow, Lorraine that was such a fun practice to do. I mean really calming and settling and it kind of warmed my heart but also really fun to do like a really playful way of practicing mindfulness with kids and for ourselves as adults. Oh well I was just going to say how do you find kids and parents respond to that?

Lorraine [00:12:31]

Well I think the most important thing about any of these practices is that we make it fun and we engage children in different ways of simply settling and quieting the mind in the same way, that we ask adults to settle and quiet their mind through mindfulness practice or self compassion practices. We want to invite our children to simply stop what they’re doing, take that pause, and let’s do this little practice and become aware of their breath. 

Now with children the best way to engage them, for parents to engage their own children is, as I said make it fun and use real child friendly language. For example, we don’t really want to say, “let’s learn some mindfulness today” — maybe for older kids that might be OK, but for younger littler ones you want to say things like, “you know you know how a ship has an anchor and it doesn’t let the ship float out to sea or go in another direction that it’s not supposed to be going in because it’s got this anchor that goes all the way down to the bottom of the ocean?” In that same way, that’s what these practices are doing for us, and it keeps us from wandering here and there in places we might not want to be in any particular moment. It really helps us focus. And then these skills transfer into the classroom, into social activities with friends, and into any situation where kids can really attend to whatever they’re supposed to be doing with more awareness and and with just more engagement, more participation.

Michelle [00:14:21]

That’s wonderful. And I’m hearing you say I’m imagining as you’re talking about these practices and the way you’re talking about helping them to learn mindfulness or anchoring the ship as you say, that that these are done it kind of in an ongoing way not necessarily during times of distress but just regular practices that are worked and simply easily and quickly even quickly into the day.

Lorraine [00:14:48]

Right.

Michelle [00:14:49]

And I’m I’m curious about, how do you understand it? How do you work with it, when our kids are acting out in a more distressed way? Do we do the same kinds of practices then? Is there some some other thing we need to do first? What’s helpful there?

Lorraine [00:15:07]

Well I. You introduced that very beautifully Michelle. The whole idea is to bring curiosity into your child’s life. And just as a teacher models curiosity for a student in learning mindfulness skills, a parent models curiosity for their child. And it’s all in the approach right? If we say to which child, wow you’re you’re really angry. That’s very different than saying, “oh my goodness you’re really having some strong feelings right now. I wonder what it is? Can can you help me understand what’s going on?” That will help a child calm down enough to maybe engage with the parent. And once we can help a child name their emotion if they’re experiencing strong emotion or some disregulation, the moment we help them name it we know through some research that it helps them to tame it. We start releasing chemicals that start soothing and calming that stress reactivity.

Michelle [00:16:16]

That makes sense to me because we’re accepting kids and their feelings as they are. And we all like to be accepted just as we are. I think I really heard that in the different tone that you were exhibiting what “Wow you’re really angry” versus “oh, you’re really having some strong feelings right now. I wonder what feelings you’re having.”.

Lorraine [00:16:37]

And I think as Dan Siegel says once you name it once you connect with your child and help them name it then you can redirect their attention then they’re more available to move over to to the right brain I’m sorry, to the left brain. They’re more available to move over to the left brain to start accessing problem solving skills or to even engage in a practice in that moment. Because if a child is dis regulated it’s they don’t necessarily need a practice in that moment. They need support, they need validation, they need containment, they need to feel safe. So you anchor them in this idea of validating their feelings. And then when they’re available to move into a practice that’s when they can begin to access you know that I think we call it the the care system rather than the mammalian caregiving system where they can start downloading more chemicals that help them feel calm and soothed and safe. 

And so one of the best ways to help your children become more available to that, more easily is by integrating that curiosity and practices into everyday life. You know for example we do a wonderful mindful eating practice with parents and children, and when you’re sitting at the dinner table or in the morning you might just have them use their five senses to do anything, like looking at their bowl of cereal and what colors they see. Excuse me, or when you take a bite you might just simply say something like, “Wow I really noticed how much my tongue moves around my mouth after I eat. And it does a good cleanup job and helps me helps me digest my food even more because I get it all off my teeth and I swallow” 

And so just bring your children into that place of awareness about their moment to moment experience. Sorry Michelle I’ve gotta take some water.

Michelle [00:18:56]

All right go for it. I’m loving what you’re saying by the way. Keep going.

Lorraine [00:19:07]

Ok so so when your children become naturally they’re naturally curious anyway but when you intentionally invite them to be curious through their senses they begin to experience. It’s like it’s like their um, perception of life, of reality just begins to expand and they begin to notice the vibrance of colors, or all the different tastes, or all the different sights and sounds and you know they become more aware and more of um, they become more aware and through that moment to moment awareness they become more present. But as I said, this really does require that the parent know how to be fully present always aware of their own stress activation, trying to multitask, trying to do things in a way that I don’t want to get into that. Well guess what.

Michelle [00:20:15]

What I what I heard you what I kind of have heard you say over the course of this is that there’s a certain order to be had here. That the order is that, first parents need to meet themselves with curiosity and kindness coming into the moment and meeting what’s there with their own inner curiosity and support, and then parents need to meet their children with that curiosity, support, acceptance of them as they are even, if they don’t like what their children are doing at the moment. And that doing so really changes the physiology in the parent and changes the physiology in the child. And then you can move into what’s needed here, what’s needed for the child, what’s needed for the parent absent.

Lorraine [00:21:01]

Absolutely Michelle, and I think a really helpful way to put it is that most parents want their children to have some sense of impulse control, and uh, I think mindfulness and compassion practices absolutely give children that that possibility, that potential to have impulse control to to change the reactions into thoughtful responses. They may not. They might not always get it. But there’s a tendency toward it. And I’ll tell you a great story about one of our nine year olds. She finished the class and the next week the mom told me that, the child the 9 year old was coming down the stairs one morning, and she had kind of a puzzled look on her face and the mom looked up and said, “Oh honey what’s wrong?” And the child said, “Well I don’t know exactly yet, but I know if I name it, I’ll begin to tame it. I know that I can make this better”. And the idea that we can empower our children to take care of themselves. Oh my goodness. How rich is that?

Michelle [00:22:15]

That’s beautiful. Gives me goose bumps to think of parents empowering their children that way and that this child came away from this class. How long is the class?

Lorraine [00:22:25]

The class is an hour and 15 minutes. Our online version tends to be closer to an hour and then we spend half an hour with the parents at the end of the class to just review different approaches they might use what questions they have. And any any concerns they have for practice with themselves or their child.

Michelle [00:22:47]

Beautiful. And this is a six week or eight week class.

Lorraine [00:22:50]

It’s an eight week class online. We’re currently offering it as a four week in two parts. So essentially it’s two four week sessions.

Michelle [00:23:00]

And in that amount of time it can shift that much for kids that they can begin to feel some agency, some sense of, I can take care of myself. I can help myself when I’m awareness they’re distressed and this feeling that they they know what to do. They know where to start. That’s really powerful.

Lorraine [00:23:21]

It is powerful. And I want to say that this is certainly the promise of mindfulness and and loving kindness and compassion training. This is absolutely the promise that the children really will learn to steady themselves in such a way that they have greater access to their cognitive skills. We all want that for our children. There are conditions and situations where children might need a little bit more time. I wouldn’t want parents to go away from this podcast thinking that, “gosh let me just enroll my kid and it’s all going to change.” It’s the beginning of a journey for children and parents and I think more than anything, I want to drive home the message that if parents take the time to learn to self regulate, to pay attention to their own experience as it’s unfolding moment to moment as we say, um they’re again modeling for their children showing them the way and it changes the dynamic, the relationship between parent and child. 

I had a parent just yesterday say that they came to the class because one of their children has a physical, an illness that requires that everyone in the family really attend to her needs. And there’s a lot of emotional reactivity. 

And coming to the class, they learned that everyone in the family has needs and and they’re learning to communicate those needs more effectively. They practice together. The parents are developing the skills to their own practice, to be able to as I said, be present pay attention to their child’s needs see what’s going on behind the reactivity and there’s a sense of calm that can come over the child when the parent stays in a place of calm.

Michelle [00:25:25]

Oh I love it I love it. I want to just go back to a couple of other things if that’s OK. One is you mentioned earlier when kids flipped their lids. Can you say a little bit more about what that means?

Lorraine [00:25:40]

Sure. One of the lessons that we offer in the course is a lesson on just what’s going on in their brain when they become disregulated. And we talk about the upstairs brain and the downstairs brain. Now to an adult we’re really talking about the prefrontal cortex and executive function, kind of the rational part of thinking. And then the emotional part, the limbic system where that emotional reactivity kind of lives. And when children get upset when they perceive a threat or risk of some kind or, someone says something that hurts their feelings, it’s all happening in the downstairs brain. And if they don’t learn to deal with those emotions and learn to pay attention to themselves learn I’m sorry 

if if they learn to develop the skills to notice when their feelings are hurt or they’re worried or sad, when they have these big emotions coming up for whatever reason, and they turn toward them with a little bit of practice and a little bit of skill, they can keep this communication between the upstairs brain and the downstairs brain. Just like I talked about with you know, connecting to your child. Parent child. Children can do that for themselves. When you teach them about their brain and what’s actually happening when they flip their lid then they can learn to. It’s like intervening and offering yourself what you need before you get to a point that you’re flipping the lid.

Michelle [00:27:28]

And flipping the lid is really. That’s a metaphor for the upstairs brain. Going OK well why don’t you say that Lorraine.

Lorraine [00:27:38]

Ok. And so when they flip their lid that essentially means that the upstairs brain is off line. Kids don’t have access to problem solving and to you know making choices that might really benefit them in that moment. Of course that’s why we have parents involved so parents can freely support their child in reconnecting the upstairs brain and the downstairs brain until kids really can learn to do it for themselves.

Michelle [00:28:06]

I think that’s wonderful. I’ve also heard you talk a little bit about the in your work with the inner inner bully versus the superhero. Is that related at all to this work with the upstairs brain and the downstairs brain or how kids can begin to regulate their emotions?

Lorraine [00:28:24]

Sure. Well just I said just a moment ago that you know kids can perceive a threat. That threat is not always external. Sometimes it’s that inner voice that can be pretty harsh and unkind. So we have a whole session on teaching kids how to listen for that unkind tone or the feeling that they get when they’ve been really hard or judgmental with themselves. So we we really help them get to know this part of themselves and then we introduce them to this other part called the superhero which has all the qualities, the characteristics that they would want in you know, like in a real life superhero. They can develop those skills and qualities for themselves. 

And we we get them we help them identify a superhero figure that they would like to kind of integrate as their compassionate friend. And kids love that. They really appreciate knowing that there’s these two there are these two parts of themselves that they can become more aware of and and become more friendly with. So it’s not a question of kicking the inner bully out because that’s probably never going to happen but just like that. Sorry. But just like in the story of the two wolves we’ve got the angry Wolf, the fearful Wolf, the wolf that is kind of terrorizing us. In the same way we have the Wolf who is peaceful and loving and kind and gentle and and grateful. So it’s not that we want to shut down that angry wolf, we just want to get to know it, make room for it, and not let it terrorize us anymore. That’s the same idea with the inner bully we don’t want the inner bully to make us feel bad about ourselves. And as a result you know we we tend to… 

What do we want to say there Michelle?

Michelle [00:30:36]

We don’t want to let it let up. We don’t want it to run the show. We don’t want. We want to be kind and compassionate and understanding toward it but we don’t want to let it run the show. We want to let the kindness Wolf run the show, and show kindness toward the angry upset one.

Lorraine [00:30:53]

You know I’m actually talking about the inner critic right there but I’m saying no it’s the same idea. So we don’t want to let that inner bully run the show. We don’t want the inner bully to to control us and hurt us and make us feel bad about ourselves. So essentially we we teach kids that that inner bully might be there but it can be quieter and we can even maybe accept the fact that this this inner bully is trying to be helpful but just doesn’t have the skills to do so. And then we cultivate this relationship with a superhero figure within ourselves that does give us agency, that does help us you know, stand tall and fierce and strong when we need to. 

So we become our Children become their own advocates and you can see this when we’re doing the, the course you can actually hear kids from session to session refer back to things they’ve already learned like the puppy mind or the fierce Wolf and or the superhero. And and now they have these, It’s not something external anymore it’s an internal quality or an internal skill that is in their tool box. You know if you think about the tool box, these are all ways that they can learn to be there for themselves. So one of the things that I love to teach parents is to ask a simple question when their child is struggling in any way. And that’s “what do you need right now. Is there anything that in your tool box that might be helpful?” And of course this is after if a child’s disregulated after they’ve calmed down. And parents really enjoy that and they say it really does work. Yeah.

Michelle [00:32:53]

Beautiful right. Lorraine. I am so inspired by the work you’re doing with kids and I think, “you know what would my life, what would my children’s lives have been like if I had this tool these tools if I learned as a kid these tools that I didn’t learn until I was already an adult. I was already a parent, you know?” What beautiful work you’re doing. 

Thank you so much for doing that that work in the world. It’s been such a pleasure to talk with you today, Lorraine. If you’d like to know more about Lorraine’s work and schedule, please visit her Web site at Lorraine Hobbs dot com for her work at UC San Diego. Please visit that Web site at med school dot UCSD dot edu and watch for her book on how to teach teen self compassion coming out in early 2021. We didn’t have much of a chance to talk about your work with teens today so I think we’ll have to have you back another time to talk a little bit more about how parents can support their teens or what teens can do.

Lorraine [00:33:57]

That would be such a pleasure Michelle! Thank you so much.

Michelle [00:34:00]

Thank you Lorraine. Such beautiful work you’re doing in the world. OK. Well that’s all for today’s well connected relationships podcast. Thank you for being here. If you’d like to get our notes on the highlights of this episode along with a simple practice you can teach your kids, be sure to join our well-connected community on the wise compassion Web site. I’ve got so much more in store for you so be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a thing! 

OK. So we’re all done but don’t close anything yet.

Lorraine [00:34:28]

No wait wait. I have a question for you Michelle. I have some notes here that I didn’t send you that I thought about later and I want and I’m wondering if we should just say something really short and simple about children who are experiencing trauma.

Michelle [00:34:43]

Sure. OK. Tell me the question I can ask to get you to talk about that.

Lorraine [00:34:49]

Ok. So maybe the question would be, so right now in these turbulent times or maybe keep it out of that context and just say you know there are children in the world who are experiencing trauma. Some of it’s related to COVID, some of it’s related to just social conditions or homelessness, migration whatever it is. What is it safe to practice?

Michelle [00:35:20]

Ok yeah. I mean it’s a little bit differently but same thing I think. 

One of the things that I know from my work as a marriage and family therapist working with children and adolescents directly, is that while children in general are more stressed these days, it isn’t the same degree of stress for every child. And some kids are actually in very. Some kids are having a just a more difficult time than usual but some kids are actually in traumatic situations. What would you advise there, what what’s where do we start, when a kid is in a traumatic situation?

Lorraine [00:36:00]

So glad you asked that question Michelle, because these practices are taught as we teach them. Oh I’m sorry. Let me start over. I’m so glad you asked that question Michelle because these practices well they’re wonderful and there’s great potential for children to learn to self regulate and and just be more present in their lives, there are situations when they’re not always safe for children. And I think I would say that if a child is experiencing trauma or has a history of trauma it’s really important that a parent know some of the signs to look for. And I think the most important thing a parent can do is, if they know that their child has had some trauma maybe a difficult divorce, maybe domestic violence, abuse whatever it might be. Parents should probably get some guidance in how to teach their children these practices. But overall what they’re looking for is you know a child becoming quite agitated during the practice. 

So that doesn’t mean a child that’s opening their eyes and closing their eyes constantly is experiencing trauma. But what we’re looking for is that we don’t hold on and let me start that part over. 

It doesn’t mean that if a child continues to open and close their eyes during a practice that they’re experiencing trauma or reactivation of trauma. So you have to know more of the specific signs, but there are ways to work with these practices and any kind of traumatic situation, so that your child feels safe, so that they know that they’re not going into a dark place when they close their eyes and they’re not reactivating in their mind images of the traumatic situation. So we want to teach children with a history of trauma or with active trauma how to be safe as they practice these meditations.

Michelle [00:38:12]

MMMM, absolutely safety is so important. And as most theorists talk about, safety is the precondition for compassion to arise. So we need to tend to safety first before we attempt to teach these practices. And I like some of the mindfulness practices like your rainbow breathing, which kids can do with their eyes open. And I suspect that practices like that are less likely to, to have people who have kids re experiencing trauma than practices where they’re closing their eyes.

Lorraine [00:38:47]

Right. Absolutely. There are. There are lots of other fun practices parents can teach their children. The Mindful Eating being another and the zombie walking where they’re really bringing their attention into the soles of the feet and they’re learning to pay attention on purpose to whatever is there you know to whatever experiences, to whatever sensations, to whatever emotions might come up. Let me say that part over, I don’t want to say the emotions 

So they can also practice the Zombie Walk which kids really enjoy doing as long as their parents are willing to participate with them. And that practice starts with the soles of the feet. So you’re still focusing attention. You’re still guiding your child in maybe using their Five Senses in in paying attention to what they’re experience. I’m messing this up. Michelle hold on.

Michelle [00:39:47]

So you don’t even have to teach them the whole thing you can just say there are there are practices that help ground children in thir external world in their experience of the external world and just in a safe way or something like that. Yeah.

Lorraine [00:40:02]

And so in addition to the Rainbow breathing, there are other practices we can do that are just really helpful to kids. One of them is mindful eating. I mean you’re you’re simply enjoying your senses in the present moment. The other is the zombie walk and, in the zombie walk we ground attention in the soles of the feet. And in any of these grounding practices are about safety keeping kids focused on the present moment. And the idea of moving with this idea, the idea of moving with attention just paying attention to what it means to walk like a zombie. Kids really enjoy it and it helps train that puppy mind so that they’re again more present in their lives helps them build agency and resilience so they can recover from whatever activation of trauma they might be experiencing in the moment.

Michelle [00:41:02]

Beautiful. All right. Thank you. You did a great job. We’ve got some really we’re going to edit you know but we always edit. But there’s some really great material in here Lorraine, You did a really really great job. So celebrate.